My Last Few Days With Dad Before He Left Us

by Sherine

LHF was a 74-year-old man from Kuala Lumpur. Blood test done on 14 October 2020 showed low levels of red blood cells, haemoglobin and platelets. He was subsequently diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML). He did not undergo any chemotherapy for his AML. The doctors in the university hospital were more concerned about his low blood levels. LHF was in and out of the hospital undergoing blood transfusions. Sadly, LHF died.

29 January 2021.

My dad was admitted to the hospital on 29 Jan 2021, did the blood test and he had fever. The doctor said my dad’s stools had blood and suspected internal bleeding.They wanted to do a scope and made him fast for 72 hours.

30 January 2021.

They first stabilised him on 29 January and made him fast on the 30 January. Throughout this time, my mom was not allowed to visit him or to bring him food at all. My dad was not responding to our calls. My mom had to call the ward several times and the doctor reassured us that my dad was doing fine. 

2 February 2021.

He was supposed to do his scope on 2 Feb but they didn’t do it.

3 February 2021.

My dad texted mom on 3 Feb at 2.30am and told her to bring the wheelchair because he wanted to go home.

My mom called me at 7am on 3Feb and we went to the hospital. We prepared porridge and celery juice, called the hospital and the doctor said they decided not to do the scope as there was no more blood in his stools.

We insisted to see him but was not allowed. They said he cannot take porridge but okay to take the celery juice. We had no choice but to go home. My dad was without food for at least 72 hours. He only had drips.

4 February 2021.

My dad called me on at 3 am of 4 Feb and asked me again to bring the wheelchair as he wanted to go home.

At this point, he was slurring his words and I couldn’t make out what he was trying to say. I told him I would come in the morning to bring him the wheelchair.

So my mom and I went to the hospital and the professor in charge of my dad finally allowed us to see him. When we saw my dad, we were shocked as his condition deteriorated by at least 70%.He had difficulty breathing and his hands and legs were swollen.

While in the hospital, they only gave him blood and platelet transfusion and he was on glucose drips. – yes, he was on an empty stomach.

We fed my dad celery juice and some vegetable smoothie. He was not able to eat on his own. He could not even suck the juice from the straw.Before he was admitted, he was very weak. He could not stand without assistance. But he could still talk.

At this point, my dad was still responding to us. He could still utter a few words but most of it we couldn’t make out what he was saying.

I cried all the way home that day after leaving the hospital. My dad did not look good and I felt he was not going to make it. 

5 February 2021.

We went to the hospital again the next day, 5 Feb. His condition had deteriorated further. He refused to eat and he was sleeping most of the time. His breathing was laboured. I called my sister to visit him as his condition wasn’t looking too good.

I left the hospital at 3pm. I told my dad I would come again tomorrow. He nodded his head and he acknowledged it. 

I arrived home after 5pm. Shortly after this I received a call from my mom. She said the doctor called her and told her that my dad’s pressure was dropping and told us to be prepared for the worst.

The doctor told us that we could come over if we wanted to.

Evening of 5 February 2021: I saw a vision.

So I drove back to the hospital. My mom and I arrived at about 7pm together with my sister. When we arrived, my dad’s pressure stabilised. It was normal although he was not conscious. 

I spoke to him and prayed.

At this point, my dad was already not responding to us. My mom called out to him and told him we were there for him. He opened his eyes and closed back. He did not seem to respond (i.e, nod or gave hand signal – none of that).

I was at the side of his bed. My mom was holding his right hand and I held his left hand. He would open his eyes from time to time, but it did not look like he was responding. We learnt later that he was given morphine because the doctor said he was agitated and kept pulling off his oxygen mask.

While I was praying, I saw a vision of my dad. I was not asleep and I was not dreaming.

I saw my dad standing and he was looking at something in a distance. I called out to him. I said Daddy, what are you doing here, please come back okay?

He heard me and he said to me, Look, I can stand and I can walk now, I am not sick anymore.

I told him,Please don’t go, Please come back to us

He hesitated for a while and he replied me, I can’t come back, my body (physical body) is not working anymore, I have to go. 

I told him, We will miss him and we are very sad.

He replied and told me not to be sad, as he is no longer sick. He told me to take care of my mom. 

I asked him where he was going. 

He said that he saw a light in a distance and he wanted to go towards it. 

I asked him if he saw Jesus. 

He said, I don’t know., He said he wanted to walk towards the light to find out. 

After that, the vision just disappeared. 

My dad’s condition stabilised when we were there at the hospital.

We left the hospital at about 10.30pm.I did not tell anyone of what I saw that night. 

I couldn’t sleep that night and kept checking my phone for news of my dad and because of that, I woke up late. 

Morning of 6 February 2021: Dad passed on.

My mom and my sister went to the hospital at 9am the next day, 6 Feb. And they started to call me to come over as my dad’s pressure had started to drop again. I rushed to the hospital and at 9.30ammy sister texted me and said that my dad was gone. 

I arrived at the hospital at 10am. My dad’s body was still in the room. My mom did not take it well. When I told her what I saw the night before and she was comforted by it.

Writing this to you was harder than I thought. I broke down half way thru the email. I just miss my dad so much. 

It was less than 4 months from his diagnosis to his passing. My dad did not suffer much and he was not in pain. I would say our family bonded so much during these 4 short months. My mom said his last moments was peaceful. His breathing slowed down and then it stopped. 

10 February 2021: His funeral.  Email: 9 February: My dad wished to be cremated and his ashes scattered to the sea. We will get all that done by tomorrow. Email: 11 February: We just finished my dad’s funeral service and scattering of ashes yesterday. It was a really emotional time for all of us but we take comfort that my dad didn’t suffer very long and he passed away peacefully. 

Two days after the funeral.

I said a prayer and asked God to show me how my dad was doing, I saw him briefly. He was walking and talking to a young chap – a guy in his late 20’s or early 30’s. He could not see me or hear me but that was a reassuring vision that he had some company. I do not know who the young chap was with but he seemed to be listening attentively to my dad talking – and my dad loved to talk. 

Comments by Chris

1. What a wonderful story. Some people may say Sherine just made this up this story. It is all in her mind – her own imagination after being brain washed by her religious beliefs. But rest assured, this could be true and not made-up. Over the years, I have patients who shared with us stories of their encounters with the World Out There. Here are some stories for you to reflect on.

a. Divine Presence.

Mary was admitted into the hospital on 8 May and throughout those days she was vomiting and purging severely.

Then on 22 May, at about 2 a.m. something unusual happened in her two-bedded hospital room. This was what Mary said: I found myself crying and crying non-stop. I prayed and prayed asking Jesus to heal me. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed. The hairs on my arms stood on ends. My body felt very warm. I never had such a feelingbefore in my life. I knew then that there was a Divine Presence. I sensed “Someone” was standing by my right side. This whole experience lasted about fifteen minutes.

The next morning, Mary regained her health. The vomiting and purging stopped and she could eat. She was discharged from the hospital two days later. Her doctor told her husband: This is a miracle.

(From our book: Cancer of the Colon & Rectum, pg. 254-255).

b. My father came to me in my dream.

Then, my father appeared in my dream. He walked in through the door from the balcony, clad in a maroon checkered sarong with a tongkat (walking stick) in his hand. In a serious tone he told me that one of my family members is going to die. I was terrified and was struggling in the dream. That was when I woke up in pain.

My father again appeared in my dream. This time, he was clad in a green checkered sarong. He was in my garden and was pointing to a plant on the right and indicated to me that it should be placed on the left. The plant had green stems that were about a foot high with slightly rounded to heart shaped green leaves with white streaks in the middle.

(From our book: Liver Cancer, pg. 236-237).

c. My relatives who died visited me.

Before I came here, I used to have dreams everyday when I slept. My sleep was not good and disturbed.

What did you dream about?  My relatives and loved ones who have died visited me. They told me they have already built a house for me there and invited me to come “home” with them.

You dreamt of your loved ones asking you to come “home” with them?  Yes. But I told them I didn’t want to go. We even sat down together to have a feast – eating together but I told them I did not want to stay there. In one dream, my husband and I visited the “Garden of Eden.” He was carrying a big luggage containing all my clothes.

(More: https://cancercaremalaysia.com/2011/10/30/breast-cancer-herbs-and-e-therapy-restored-her-wellbeing-after-106-times-of-radiation-treatments-part-5-my-dreams-and-near-death-experience/)

d. My God Mother appeared in a Dream: She was smiling!

One of my relatives. She prayed that night. And then her mother appeared to her in a dream. I was very close to her mother. She was like my god mother. Her mother was smiling. The next morning, she told me about it. So I said it was okay!

(From our book: Your Breast)

Sherine: Yes, Prof Chris. Even myself, I thought I made it up in my mind, that’s why I did not share it with anyone. It was only when my mother was not taking it well that I decided to tell her. The story had such a calming effect on her and only then I realized that this sort of thing cannot be made up in the mind.

2. The following are questions I posed to Sherine.

a. Your dad was not a Christian and you are a born-again Christian?

My dad was not a Christian. My mom is also not a Christian. My dad was a free thinker and in around 1997, he brought home a statue from Thailand and he said it was to ‘jagapintu’. It was a statue of a living monk in Thailand at that time but who had already passed away.  When my dad was diagnosed with leukemia, he said he wanted to give away the statue as he felt he was not able to take care of it anymore. It was finally taken away after my father passed away. One of our relatives ‘adopted’ it. I was a free thinker like my parents but accepted Christ in 2004. That was about 17 years ago.

b. For all these years in your life, have you ever experienced such a vision (like you shared above) when you prayed?

No, I have not experienced visions before. They are usually dreams. This is the first time I saw a vision. I only have dreams of people who are close to me who passed away. Only dreams, no vision.

In 2017, there was a man who “disappeared” and was never found. A week after this happened, my dead friend visited me in my dreams and told me, Look who is here with me. I took a look and he was – this man. My dead friend and I knew this man because we had attended his church service before my friend passed away in 2016.

Just last year (2020), I dreamt about my uncle who had passed away due to lung cancer in 2019. He appeared in my dreams. I knew he was already dead and I asked him what was he doing there. He said he was looking for his mother (my grandmother) but could not find her. He told me he saw 7th Aunty a few moments ago.

My 7th Aunty is still alive and when I told my dreams to my parents, they told me not to tell this to my 7th Aunty. She  may  interpret it  that she will die soon as she had breast cancer. Later when my parents siblings got together and my dad related my dream to them, they said my uncle used to have this babysitter called 7th Aunty. She had passed away a long time ago and this 7th Aunty was my grandma’s best friend.

There is another dream I remember very vividly. This dream came to me more than 10 years ago. When I became a Christian, I prayed for my parent’s salvation. One night I had a dream. I was in a place which was very chaotic, people were screaming and in fear. Everyone was unsure of what to do and they were filled with anxiety and hopelessness. However, I saw a group of people walking towards one direction, all of them very calm and composed. They knew where they were going. I saw these group of people and I immediately knew that they were walking towards Jesus.

I saw my dad with me. Dad looked confused. He saw that I was calm and the rest in fear. I told my dad that we had to follow these group of people. I told him I knew where they were going and asked him to follow me. My dad replied that he didn’t want to go there because he was not sure where this group of people were going to. He told me to leave him behind and asked me to follow the group to save myself. I told my dad that if he was not going, then I would stay here with him. The situation did not improve. In fact it got worst. My dad somehow saw how calm I was and then he finally said to me, Okay, I will follow you.

I don’t know why I am able to remember this dream that I dreamt some 10 years ago. I take it as a message from God reassuring me that my dad will finally receive salvation and I had to show him the way.

I had several occasions, when I was younger, when I could see spirits. Not very often, not scary and often times, I was left wondering if I imagined it.  It stopped once I became a Christian.

Besides the dreams, I sometimes, hear God speak to me. Also not very often. I can’t explain it, but I seem to know that it’s Him because I felt peace and I felt the authority and reassurance in the message.

When my dad had leukemia, I poured out my heart to God. He said in a still small voice, I will prolong his life but you have to trust me. I read articles that AML without treatment would only take weeks. My dad had about 4 months – so not sure if what I heard was really from God or not. I can only hear him when I am in great distress.

c. At his bedside, you prayed. What did you say to God?

I prayed that God would heal him as the story of the centurion who asked Jesus to heal his very sick servant at home. The centurion asked Jesus to just say the word and his servant would be healed. The centurion, like Jesus, is a man with authority and he just had to say the word and it will come to pass. Jesus commented that he had not seen such faith and he said, it is done. I replaced the word servant with my father and I kept repeating this prayer again and again.

I also said the prayer that if my faith is as small as a mustard seed, I can tell the mountains to move and it will move. So I prayed for my dad’s leukemia to take a hike.

I also said the prayer that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and by His power He raised the dead. I asked for that power to heal my father and make him well. I did not lose faith, even when my dad did not look good, I wholly trust and believe that my dad will witness a miracle.

d. After talking to God, did God say anything to you?

No, God was silent. The vision appeared while I closed my eyes and as I prayed.

e. How long did this “vision” last?

Maybe less than 5 minutes.

f. Why do you say “vision”?

I was not sleeping, the chair I was sitting on was not very comfortable, my heart was anxious. I do not think I fell asleep and dreamt. I was very much aware that I was awake and I saw this vision/image in my head.

g. In this first vision — you seemed to be able to talked to him. Was the conversation like a normal humanly communication? Was it very clear like a video clip playing?

Yes, I called out to my dad and he turned to looked at me. It was like a normal conversation I would have with my dad. It was very clear. The background was clear and white. I could also see what my dad saw, the bright light up in front. It was quite a distance away. My dad was staring at the white light before I called out to him.

I can’t remember the timeline as I kept repeating the prayers again and again and again like meditation. In between the prayers, I also spoke to my dad. I did not say this out loud, I was saying this as a prayer to him and then repeated the sequence. I closed my eyes for a moment and I caught a glimpse of the vision of my dad.  

h. You only saw clear and white bright light? I supposed that was a glimpse of what heaven is like. Did you see any trees, river, animals etc?

I only saw a clear and white background. There are no trees, no river, no animals, it was just my dad and me. It felt peaceful.

i. When you prayed to God that day, did you expect God to answer you with this vision?

No. I did not expect God to answer it like this. What I expected was that my dad would suddenly wake up and said he is well and the doctors will tell me it’s a miracle. Well, I suppose God did answer my prayer, my dad was well indeed but in the spiritual realm.

j. Two days after the funeral, you said you prayed and you saw your dad with a young guy — in this one you were not able to talk to him. This was a dream? Was there any difference between this dream and the first vision?

I only saw him in a distance. This would like watching a movie and there were 2 guys walking and talking. My dad seemed to be very confident and he seemed to know his way. He did not look lost and this young guy seemed to be listening attentively to my father. I could not make out what they were talking about. This only lasted a few seconds. Just a glimpse, nothing more than that.

k. After the first episode and the second episode  — how did you feel as a person? What meaning did these give you?

I accepted the fact that it was time for my dad to go. Ever since my near death experience, I don’t try to understand why things happen but I trust and believe that all things work out for good to those who trust him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28) My dad had lived a good life. He did all the things he wanted to do and he had no unfinished business left to do. The only thing he is concerned about is my mom and he had instructed me to take care of her. I have learnt not to take things for granted and be grateful for each and every passing moment. The moment my dad was diagnosed with leukemia, I surrender unto God, and that does not mean that we do nothing. We continue to seek help as guided by the holy spirit and it had led me to find you and many other resources that came along our way.

Before my dad died, he thanked me for the support that was given to him, he said he was happy and told me to be prepared because everyone had to go at some point. I had no regrets, all of us gave unselfishly of our time, effort and resources.

The lessons I learnt, I suppose, that we live to serve, to Love and give unselfishly. One day when we get to heaven, we will hear these words said by Jesus, Well done, my good and faithful servant, you have been faithful with the little, I will put you in charge of many things, Let us share your master’s happiness.

BEFORE SEEING THE VISION IN THE HOSPITAL.

l. Did you ever hear of stories from friends or read in books about life before death or after death?

I was not a Christian before, stories of life after death was told to me by my older relatives and friends. We had no religion and the understanding of it was like ‘rojak’. My relatives  beliefs were more towards Taoism and I was taught that when a person dies, his spirit has to be ‘shown’ the way by the chanting made by the Taoist priest and after 100 days, his soul would have to be ‘invited’ to the family altar. As a child, when a someone in the family passes on, we had to burn paper money (hell bank notes), paper cars, paper house so that the spirit can receive them in hell. What I find odd was, everyone who dies goes to hell. 

When I became a Christian, I learnt that the state of the dead is very different from what I was brought up knowing. I learnt that there is a heaven and everyone can get there and death would not separate us from our loved ones. I learnt that when a person dies, he is asleep, they do not know anything or become spirits until the resurrection happens. The experiences I have seem to say otherwise. I don’t try to understand them as there are so many different types of interpretation depending on which sources you are reading it from. If this vision I had of my dad gives comfort to my mom and helps her to heal and come to terms with my dad’s passing, then I believe it is a good thing.

I had a near death experience about 3 years ago, I had a respiratory arrest shortly after dinner and my sister sent me to ER at a small hospital. The hospital was not equipped to handle my case. They did not have a ventilator and the nurses had to pump my lungs for 4 hours while waiting for the ambulance to send me to a bigger hospital. The hospital, while they had an ambulance, did not have a driver. The doctor was looking high and low for morphine as they had to intubate me. When the doctor stabilised me, they called several hospitals and none of them wanted to take my case because of the seriousness of the problem. Later, Pantai Hospital in KL called back and agreed to take my case with the condition that I had insurance coverage. This was told to me by my sister. 

I remember walking into the hospital and waking up 2 days later in a different hospital. I was in a coma for 2 days. I had no memory of what happened. I should have died that night but for some reason, God preserved me. The only thing I remembered was seeing a bright white light before regaining consciousness. It was the bright light that woke me up. I woke up with a tube in my mouth, lines coming out from my neck and there were bruises on my arms. I could not talk and I pointed to my hand to ask the nurse on duty the time, it was 12 midnight.  The doctor came to see me in the morning, checked my vitals and removed the tube that was in my mouth. He then told me if I arrived at the hospital just a little bit later, they would have lost me. 

3. Thank you very much Sherine for sharing.

I learned many things from this experience. Yes, God is real and He is a living God. There are people who are “closer” to the spiritual realm — you are one of them! I have never experienced dreams/vision like you but I have experienced God’s blessing! Unbelievable. What I asked God in my prayer I got it! So I learned to appreciate and are grateful of what I have. I am satisfied, contented and am ready to go anytime.

Yes, I understand what you wrote: My dad had lived a good life. He did all the things he wanted to do and he had no unfinished business left to do. The only thing he is concerned about is my mom and he had instructed me to take care of her. That is exactly my philosophy of life.  Do all the good we can while we are temporarily here. When all is done, go home in peace and with a sense of full satisfaction. Mission accomplished!

Your dad’s story showed me that God is always loving.

Sherine: You’re welcome Prof Chris. Yes, I suppose if it’s time to go there is nothing we can do to stop it. And if it’s not time yet, then there is nothing that can make you go. Indeed, God is good, I have learnt over time to trust Him even though things may not go the way I want it. But He is always faithful. 

One last and final question. Do you want to share this experience with others? I can put this up in our website. Others may be able to learn something from your experience. But if you don’t feel comfortable, it is okay. If you wish to share, what name do you want to use – need not be your real name if you don’t want others to know who you are. 

Sherine: Yes, I am okay to share this experience with others. I have learnt so much from others who shared in your website and I want to be able to return the favour and let others learn from my own experience. I am also okay to use my own name.